Yes, that's right! I'm back to blog-dom! Well, for now anyways. :) You see, I moved out of my sister's house over Thanksgiving, into my own apartment again (Hallelujah!), but now that means I don't have internet access at home...I go to the library or my church to get online, but blogging has kind of taken a backseat during those precious minutes - my priorities are e-mail, taking care of my finances, researching and following through on career and school options, keeping up with world current events, and THEN blogging. And there's never enough time to get through all of them! But I'm trying to change that. I'll TRY to post something once a week. How's that? Here goes!
Do you ever feel old, even though you're not? I do all the time...Being involved in youth ministry, I feel like my energy level has significantly decreased since college, to where I look at the kids I work with sometimes and think, "How did I ever do it?" I get sore and creaky (and cranky!) from doing things I used to pride myself in doing without a problem - like staying up all night, or playing in the snow, or trying to play sports, even soccer, which used to be my life! But the biggest way in which I feel old is that, in a lot of ways, I feel like the youth I work with are my kids in a way, because of how much time I spend with them and invest in them. So the fact that there are EIGHT seniors graduating this year who are from our church makes me feel like an empty-nester whose kids are leaving home and testing their wings, when I'm only 24! So many of them have such rough home situations that I wish I could just take them home with me right now...but not only would their parents not look favorably on that, I would have no way of giving them what they need - only God can. I have a hard enough time just keeping my own head above water sometimes, I can't imagine what I'll be like when I have my own kids, if I feel this weary when I'm working with ones that I only see a few times a week! It reminds me of a beautiful hymn, which speaks so beautifully of the only reason ministry, and the Christian life in general is possible:
I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.
- I need Thee, oh, I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
Oh, bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.
I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;
Temptations lose their pow’r when Thou art nigh.
I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide, or life is vain.
I need Thee every hour; teach me Thy will;
And Thy rich promises in me fulfill.
I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;
Oh, make me Thine indeed, Thou blessed Son.
~Annie Hawks, 1872
