Open mouth, insert foot...

So for all of you who know me, you know that I blush at the drop of a hat. And it's not just a mild sort of blush. It's bright-fire-engine-red blushing, the kind where you can feel the heat radiating off my face from 10 feet away, and there's no way that I can stop it once it starts.

Well, yesterday, that lovely feature of mine kicked in at exactly the wrong time, and I wanted to just curl up and die. we were having a staff Birthday party, for all the people in the Athletic Department who had Birthdays in September. And we were all packed in around the table in the Conference Room, eating and talking, when the conversation took a very interesting turn...Somehow, someone started talking about taking their spouse on a romantic night out, and when we asked what the plan was, they said, "We're going parking!" Which, of course, sent everyone into peals of hysterical laughter, and then they started debating where they should park...At which point, I can't believe that this is happening at a staff party, but I think it's pretty funny, so I keep my mouth shut and keep listening and laughing. But then someone had to ask the question, "Do people even GO parking anymore? It seems like it's something we used to do back in the day, but hasn't the world moved beyond parking by now?" And, as the youngest person in the room, all eyes were on me to say whether parking was a thing of the past or a thing of the present. So I try to answer as coolly as possible, "No, I'm pretty sure people still go parking. Or so I've heard." And that was all it took - my face was steaming before I was even done saying the words. So of course everyone jumped on me after that, and now they were all curious as to what the local hotspots were - they said it was so they could go there with their spouses, but I just think they wanted to bust people and see their expressions when a professor or coach pulled in next to them! :) And nothing I could say would dissuade them from thinking that every word that came out of my mouth after that was based on my own experience. And even though I answered truthfully when I said I had heard that the Lattice Bridge was a popular spot, and Wiscoy, and the Field of Dreams, and the haunted house off of Short Tract, and pretty much any parking lot on campus, but had never gone parking at any of those places myself, only known people who had, there's no way that they would believe me. Because my face was about the same shade as a ripe plum by then. And even though I was telling the truth, my face didn't look like it. (Stupid redheaded complexion!) I was so mortified, I almost didn't want to show up to work this morning...The good thing is, most people around here have a pretty short memory! :)

EDIT: Maybe I should clarify that the Houghton College version of parking, while still quite popular, is a modified version of the traditional parking, that as far as I know involves only making out, and not the whole nine yards.

A picture is worth a thousand words

In the smartest business move they ever made, the owners of the China Sea restaurant in Cuba leased what used to be Deb's place in Houghton, and tomorrow they will have the grand opening! A Chinese restaurant in Houghton - WOOHOO!!! They will make so much money, off the college students, faculty, staff, and Houghton Academy...not to mention the neighbouring towns...

So, in honor of their grand opening, they sent out flyers with their menu to everyone at the college. And, I kid you not, in true Engrish form, this is the map at the bottom of their flyer:

Heffalump!

Poor, poor Land Cruiser...It didn't stand a chance against that elephant...
(And, before you panic, these pictures are not from Paul & Katrina!)

What an experience for this car's owners! (Er, ex-owners?) Don't worry, nobody was hurt! I know, I couldn't believe it either when T.K. showed it to me, and said his daughter-in-law's father (a missionary in Namibia) was the driver of that vehicle and walked away from the accident uninjured. But if you look closely enough, you can see the steering wheel on the right-hand side of the car, British-driving style. Otherwise he would have been toast! But as it was, thankfully he's fine - and apparently so is the elephant, after the car ran into its right foreleg and the beast rolled over onto the car, then rolled back onto its feet and walked away!!!! Go figure...I complain about having to watch for deer while driving at night, but boy am I glad I don't need to watch out for something bigger! And slower.

Ah, the silence of an empty office...

I feel so much more relaxed working in a quiet office, rather than being surrounded by the hustle & bustle of constant commotion that makes me feel like I should be working faster and harder, and makes me feel more stressed out.

But since nobody else is around, I can spend the morning listening to my latest online find: the Audio Bible. It's an excellent resource! Then there's always countless audio sermons online, and especially close to my heart are those from All Souls Church in London - John Stott's church, where I attended for an unforgettable semester of my life. (Currently listening to an excellent message by Hugh Palmer, the All Souls rector, on Philippians 2 - "The Way to Up is Down.") Ah, it feels good to have my soul nourished by the Living Word of God as I work! There's something about listening to Scripture that is very different from reading it, very refreshing in fact - hmmm...almost as though that is how they were meant to be "ingested"...spoken by someone else, so there is a voice giving them life, dimension, depth, vibrance, and so that by involving a speaker and a listener they are inherently shared. Hmmm...that's interesting...I'll need to think about that for a while...

Laughter is good medicine

Today, I got an e-mail from a student named Kashmere, asking about a job, and the first 3 words in her e-mail were:

"Hi, Mrs. Clark..."

After I read that line, I just laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed...

And to make things funnier, yesterday I called the Helpdesk to put in a request for some computer work, and the student who answered and took down my request kept calling me "Dr. Clark."

Hahahaha, if only they knew me!!! Then they definitely wouldn't think me so mature as all that...But in the meantime, I'll take it as a compliment - hey, I'll take that over being confused with a college student any day!

Ode to Real Simple magazine

Installment #1 of my birthday present from Paul & Katrina arrived today...Real Simple magazine delivered right to my office! :)

Oh, the joy and delight I will have
reading it over my lunch break
with a simple cup of coffee
and a simple turkey sandwich.
Learning priceless, life-changing lessons
such as:

Q. Which of These Pants Is a Size 10?, pg. 155
A: They all are. A look at the elastic art of sizing clothes, and why a size 6 isn’t always a size 6.

The Well-Balanced Wardrobe, pg. 270

A Month of Dinners, pg. 290
(their recipes are aMAzing!)

As well as the very useful

When to dump a disappointing doctor, pg. 133

Olive oil? Yes. Butter? Not so much. How to choose healthy fats, pg. 141

Changing the world: a step-by-step guide, pg. 185

(I'm especially looking forward to what they say in that last one...)
And their experiments to find the best
bed sheets, vacuums, and frozen pizza.
Sometimes, a little bit of light reading
is exactly what one needs in the middle of a not-so-simple day! :)