Funny story of the week...
So, I love small children. I love the way they talk, dropping letters and mixing up words. I love (and envy) their amazing amounts of energy, and I inevitably get a very silly grin on my face when I'm "attacked" by a full-body kid hug - you know, the kind that finds their legs wrapped around your waist, and their arms trying as hard as they can to reach around your neck, and a slobbery kiss planted on your cheek? Those are the best. Especially when followed up by tickling. :) Another one of my favourite things about kids is their adaptability, their ability (most of the time) to go with the flow. Well, yesterday after church, Joshua Ward, the adorable 2-year-old son of Pastor Jon and Ashley, proved his ability to go with the flow. Literally.
We all had Sunday dinner over at Laura and Walter's, and Joshy (pronounced "Shoshy" by him...) was REALLY thirsty. He had a whole glass of milk before lunch, and another one with the meal. We DID take him to the bathroom before sitting down to eat, but as a distractable boy in the process of being potty-trained, he was a little too engrossed with playing with his food to notice that his bladder was full. So, needless to say, at one point when his dad was checking to see if he had eaten enough, it became apparent that there was a rather large wet stain on Shoshy's pants...Oh, well! He didn't mind being wet, so he ran around in wet pants for a while until he came up to his dad and said he needed to go to the bathroom. Again. Not 5 minutes later. Well, Josh beat his dad to the bathroom, but still wasn't fast enough...so Pastor Jon had a very wet sock...and Josh's clothes were soaked beyond wearing. No worries! Who needs pants? Life is much more fun when you're FREE!!!!! (Although it IS a bit more drafty...) So we had a very cute 2-year-old boy running around the house with a shirt and sweater on, and nothing else. Without a care in the world. :) My favourite part was when he ran over to the window that overlooks the street, and hid behind the curtains from all of us. (Except, of course, he forgot that while hiding from us he was exposing his naked tush to the whole rest of the world!!!!!) It was adorable. I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Friday, January 27, 2006
I'm going to paraphrase, 'cause I don't remember exactly how it went, but Lauren F. Winner wrote something like this:
Profound conversations aren't the point of community. We don't form relationships and community so that someday we can have profound conversations with people. The relationship in itself is the point. Sharing hundreds and millions of experiences like Scrabble games and walks in the park and flapjacks in your best friend's kitchen are, in fact, what it's all about. They're not necessary nuisances, stepping stones along the way until you can finally get to the point where you can talk about God and your deepest fears and why we should or shouldn't have sex and whether either Calvin or Arminius have it right. Those hundreds and millions of shared experiences are, in and of themselves, the point.
How important it was for me to be reminded of that this week, in my interactions and conversations with so many people! Community is the point. Sharing our lives with God and people, on all possible levels and in all possible areas of our lives, is the point. Sharing a cup of tea, laughter, tears, a hug, a meal, a movie, are not necessary hurdles that we need to get over so we can get to "the good stuff" - they're part of the good stuff. They're the very real arenas in which community is lived, where love is fleshed out! Profound conversations are an added bonus, an extra that is sometimes thrown in along the way, a privilege that is gained because we are in community. But love that binds us all together in perfect unity - that is the point. Word. Thanks for the reminder. 'Cause sometimes I forget.
Profound conversations aren't the point of community. We don't form relationships and community so that someday we can have profound conversations with people. The relationship in itself is the point. Sharing hundreds and millions of experiences like Scrabble games and walks in the park and flapjacks in your best friend's kitchen are, in fact, what it's all about. They're not necessary nuisances, stepping stones along the way until you can finally get to the point where you can talk about God and your deepest fears and why we should or shouldn't have sex and whether either Calvin or Arminius have it right. Those hundreds and millions of shared experiences are, in and of themselves, the point.
How important it was for me to be reminded of that this week, in my interactions and conversations with so many people! Community is the point. Sharing our lives with God and people, on all possible levels and in all possible areas of our lives, is the point. Sharing a cup of tea, laughter, tears, a hug, a meal, a movie, are not necessary hurdles that we need to get over so we can get to "the good stuff" - they're part of the good stuff. They're the very real arenas in which community is lived, where love is fleshed out! Profound conversations are an added bonus, an extra that is sometimes thrown in along the way, a privilege that is gained because we are in community. But love that binds us all together in perfect unity - that is the point. Word. Thanks for the reminder. 'Cause sometimes I forget.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Monday, January 23, 2006
I feel like Peter.
You know, Simon Peter, after he had denied Jesus and the rooster crowed and he wept. Well, I have been having a dialogue with God similar to that one that Jesus had with Peter by the Sea of Galilee, after He came back from the dead, after He made his disciples catch amazing boatloads of fish once again like he had before. The dialogue in which Jesus asks, "Peter, do you truly love me more than these?", and then again, "Peter, do you truly love me?", and then the third time, that really hurt, "Peter, do you love me?" "Yes, Lord, You know I love you." "Then feed my sheep...Follow me."
My dialogue was not by a sea after fishing, but in my car, on my way home from watching The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe with Kat, Paul, Sean, Amy, and Jeff Brown. And I was remembering how Lucy was always the one to see the right way, Aslan's way, even when others called it nonsense. Like going back to Narnia, or trusting the Beavers. Like in Prince Caspian when she decided she would follow Aslan down the cliffs and up the other side of the gorge even if she had to do it alone, though the others couldn't see him. Or countless other times when she was the only one who saw Him or understood what was going on. I was crying out to God because I wanted to see, I wanted to understand, but I didn't. I was begging Him to show me what He was doing that I couldn't see yet, and as the tears blurred my eyes so I could hardly see the road anymore, I heard Him say those words He said to Peter that day, "Do you love me?" "Yes, Lord. Beyond a shadow of a doubt."
Then, gently, a different question: "Then do you trust me?"
Tentatively: "Yes...But..."
"Do you trust me?"
"Yes...But..."
The third time, the one that hurt: "DO YOU TRUST ME?"
(Long pause...I grip the steering wheel tighter...take a deep breath...let out a long sigh...) "Yes."
Ouch. You got me.
"Then follow Me."
And I know that I can do nothing else. There are no other options that even come close.
You know, Simon Peter, after he had denied Jesus and the rooster crowed and he wept. Well, I have been having a dialogue with God similar to that one that Jesus had with Peter by the Sea of Galilee, after He came back from the dead, after He made his disciples catch amazing boatloads of fish once again like he had before. The dialogue in which Jesus asks, "Peter, do you truly love me more than these?", and then again, "Peter, do you truly love me?", and then the third time, that really hurt, "Peter, do you love me?" "Yes, Lord, You know I love you." "Then feed my sheep...Follow me."
My dialogue was not by a sea after fishing, but in my car, on my way home from watching The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe with Kat, Paul, Sean, Amy, and Jeff Brown. And I was remembering how Lucy was always the one to see the right way, Aslan's way, even when others called it nonsense. Like going back to Narnia, or trusting the Beavers. Like in Prince Caspian when she decided she would follow Aslan down the cliffs and up the other side of the gorge even if she had to do it alone, though the others couldn't see him. Or countless other times when she was the only one who saw Him or understood what was going on. I was crying out to God because I wanted to see, I wanted to understand, but I didn't. I was begging Him to show me what He was doing that I couldn't see yet, and as the tears blurred my eyes so I could hardly see the road anymore, I heard Him say those words He said to Peter that day, "Do you love me?" "Yes, Lord. Beyond a shadow of a doubt."
Then, gently, a different question: "Then do you trust me?"
Tentatively: "Yes...But..."
"Do you trust me?"
"Yes...But..."
The third time, the one that hurt: "DO YOU TRUST ME?"
(Long pause...I grip the steering wheel tighter...take a deep breath...let out a long sigh...) "Yes."
Ouch. You got me.
"Then follow Me."
And I know that I can do nothing else. There are no other options that even come close.
Friday, January 20, 2006
The past few days have been the busiest days EVER here in the office of the Nielsen Physical Education Center. Hence why I didn't update you yesterday on how speaking in youth group went. In fact, the only things I did yesterday here at my desk that weren't strictly work were introducing myself on Sam's blog, and paying my credit card bill. No blog-surfing, no checking the news, no writing about my life, no funny stories or jokes or pictures. Just the phones ringing off the hook and e-mails pouring in and people constantly streaming in and out needing something. And today hasn't been much better...BUT that will not stop me this time!!!!!
So, for those of you who are curious about how youth group went on Wednesday night, I'll tell you right here and right now. (For those of you who aren't curious, you can go ahead and stop reading now...) It was scary. Being honest with other people is scary - honest about what I struggle with, honest about the lessons about people and God and myself which I have learned the hard way. But there is also something very freeing about being honest. And the kids were surprisingly quiet and attentive for most of the time, which is a rarity! Pastor Don commented to me at the end that he thinks that sometimes when there is tittering going on among them, it is probably because the words were hitting home for some of them and that made them uncomfortable. Go, Holy Spirit! Do Your work! So many of those kids are struggling not to be defined by their situations over which they have no control, like divorced parents, siblings in jail, poverty, and sexual abuse, and they need to know that there is a treasure in them that no amount of pressing or crushing can destroy - the image of God, that is being made clearer and brighter as we are being renewed day by day. And if it was (hopefully) good for them, it was also definitely good for me, knowing that as God does work through me, He is also doing work in me, to peel away a little more of the dirt and grime and pride and show that this strength comes not of any merit of mine, but by the grace of God.
Amen and amen.
So, for those of you who are curious about how youth group went on Wednesday night, I'll tell you right here and right now. (For those of you who aren't curious, you can go ahead and stop reading now...) It was scary. Being honest with other people is scary - honest about what I struggle with, honest about the lessons about people and God and myself which I have learned the hard way. But there is also something very freeing about being honest. And the kids were surprisingly quiet and attentive for most of the time, which is a rarity! Pastor Don commented to me at the end that he thinks that sometimes when there is tittering going on among them, it is probably because the words were hitting home for some of them and that made them uncomfortable. Go, Holy Spirit! Do Your work! So many of those kids are struggling not to be defined by their situations over which they have no control, like divorced parents, siblings in jail, poverty, and sexual abuse, and they need to know that there is a treasure in them that no amount of pressing or crushing can destroy - the image of God, that is being made clearer and brighter as we are being renewed day by day. And if it was (hopefully) good for them, it was also definitely good for me, knowing that as God does work through me, He is also doing work in me, to peel away a little more of the dirt and grime and pride and show that this strength comes not of any merit of mine, but by the grace of God.
Amen and amen.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
HELP!!!!
Does anyone know how to get and keep the attention of a group of 30 teenagers????? Because I'm endeavoring the hugely intimidating task of presenting the devotional at youth group tonight, and I have prepared what to say, but I just don't know how to bring it home! Doing a Faith Journey in chapel would have been hard enough if I had been asked to do so, but to Jr. High students? Yikes! I'm talking about identity, and how we are often given an identity by others that may or may not reflect who we actually are (for example, from kindergarten to 12th grade I was always "the smart one," and it drove me nuts that people didn't seem to notice or care about all the other parts of me that didn't fit under that category), but that in the end the label that covers all these labels is the one that God bestows on us that says, "you are MINE!" I'm trying to make it at least a little bit interactive, by giving them each actual labels to wear...Unless they decide to crumple them up and use them as ammo against each other...Here's hoping...
Does anyone know how to get and keep the attention of a group of 30 teenagers????? Because I'm endeavoring the hugely intimidating task of presenting the devotional at youth group tonight, and I have prepared what to say, but I just don't know how to bring it home! Doing a Faith Journey in chapel would have been hard enough if I had been asked to do so, but to Jr. High students? Yikes! I'm talking about identity, and how we are often given an identity by others that may or may not reflect who we actually are (for example, from kindergarten to 12th grade I was always "the smart one," and it drove me nuts that people didn't seem to notice or care about all the other parts of me that didn't fit under that category), but that in the end the label that covers all these labels is the one that God bestows on us that says, "you are MINE!" I'm trying to make it at least a little bit interactive, by giving them each actual labels to wear...Unless they decide to crumple them up and use them as ammo against each other...Here's hoping...
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
From a movie that I have now watched 3 times in the past week...About a Boy...
Marcus: "Suddenly I realized: 2 people isn't enough. You need a backup. If you're only 2 people, and someone drops off the edge, then you're on your own. Two isn't a large enough number. You need 3, at least!"
word. here's to backup!!!!!!!
Marcus: "Suddenly I realized: 2 people isn't enough. You need a backup. If you're only 2 people, and someone drops off the edge, then you're on your own. Two isn't a large enough number. You need 3, at least!"
word. here's to backup!!!!!!!
Monday, January 16, 2006
Do you ever get that feeling when you wake up in the morning that you don't want it to be morning yet, but you know that you won't be able to get back to sleep again even if you tried? Well, I was in that state this morning. I didn't want to get up, but I knew that staying in bed would be pointless. Then I rolled over to face the window and I noticed tiny shafts of pink seeping through the cracks between my blinds.
So in a stroke of boldness, I gathered up my courage, threw off the covers, and yanked up the blinds, to find one of the most beautiful sunrises I have ever seen. Bright red across the whole horizon, blending into fiery oranges and softer yellows, against a purple-grey background - simply breathtaking!
The thing about sunrises is that, if you sit and watch them, the changes in colour and brightness are so gradual that you don't really notice them happening. But when you turn your back on it for even a few seconds, then turn to it again, the amount of change in those few seconds can be astounding! (I was thinking of using this as a springboard for some sort of profound illustration, but now I can't think of any...)
In any case, that spectacular sunrise was a great way to start off the week! I think it may make me smile all day. :)
So in a stroke of boldness, I gathered up my courage, threw off the covers, and yanked up the blinds, to find one of the most beautiful sunrises I have ever seen. Bright red across the whole horizon, blending into fiery oranges and softer yellows, against a purple-grey background - simply breathtaking!
The thing about sunrises is that, if you sit and watch them, the changes in colour and brightness are so gradual that you don't really notice them happening. But when you turn your back on it for even a few seconds, then turn to it again, the amount of change in those few seconds can be astounding! (I was thinking of using this as a springboard for some sort of profound illustration, but now I can't think of any...)
In any case, that spectacular sunrise was a great way to start off the week! I think it may make me smile all day. :)
Friday, January 13, 2006
I want to help!
If faith is being sure of what we hope for,
Certain of what we do not see,
How does one convey certainty?
Because I am certain.
But I don't know how I came to be certain.
How does one explain
Joy in the midst of pain,
Peace in the midst of trouble,
Life in the midst of death,
A Love that knows no bounds?
I can't convince anyone of these things
With words strung together.
But neither can I manufacture
The experiences by which certainty comes,
And so I sit by and wait.
This waiting and watching while You work,
When all I can do is pray!
I want to help!
But I know that what is needed is deeper than words,
The way that is blazed by the Spirit
Through the hard grind of life,
The way of experience, of One who has seen and heard and felt it all,
The way paved with the blood from Your side
When You cried, “It is finished!”
Because only You can finish it.
You have let me help for a little while,
But now it is beyond my reach.
Beyond the reach of words or actions or reason.
For certainty has to be learned and seen and experienced,
Without intermediates,
The glaring beauty of Your holiness,
The merciful scalpel of Your love.
Straight from the source.
Pure, unadulterated, devastating Goodness,
That peels back and lays bare
And pulls out the cancer that is eating us up
From the inside out.
So we can heal.
So we can learn how much taller and straighter we can walk
Without carrying around this unnecessary weight.
We have no idea how much You sustain us.
You work even when we are sleeping.
The sun rises & sets at a word from Your mouth.
You do not need our help.
So thank You for letting me help sometimes. Even just a little bit.
If faith is being sure of what we hope for,
Certain of what we do not see,
How does one convey certainty?
Because I am certain.
But I don't know how I came to be certain.
How does one explain
Joy in the midst of pain,
Peace in the midst of trouble,
Life in the midst of death,
A Love that knows no bounds?
I can't convince anyone of these things
With words strung together.
But neither can I manufacture
The experiences by which certainty comes,
And so I sit by and wait.
This waiting and watching while You work,
When all I can do is pray!
I want to help!
But I know that what is needed is deeper than words,
The way that is blazed by the Spirit
Through the hard grind of life,
The way of experience, of One who has seen and heard and felt it all,
The way paved with the blood from Your side
When You cried, “It is finished!”
Because only You can finish it.
You have let me help for a little while,
But now it is beyond my reach.
Beyond the reach of words or actions or reason.
For certainty has to be learned and seen and experienced,
Without intermediates,
The glaring beauty of Your holiness,
The merciful scalpel of Your love.
Straight from the source.
Pure, unadulterated, devastating Goodness,
That peels back and lays bare
And pulls out the cancer that is eating us up
From the inside out.
So we can heal.
So we can learn how much taller and straighter we can walk
Without carrying around this unnecessary weight.
We have no idea how much You sustain us.
You work even when we are sleeping.
The sun rises & sets at a word from Your mouth.
You do not need our help.
So thank You for letting me help sometimes. Even just a little bit.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Funny story of the day...
Last night, Amy, Katrina, and I went out to Ace's for dinner, where we talked and talked and talked until our food got cold (well, at least mine did...) and we realized that the whole restaurant was empty. Then I noticed that they were vacuuming the floors. And so we decided that maybe we should get up and pay our bill and be on our way - which we did, all the while still laughing and talking. As we were walking out the door, we asked our very obliging waitress what time they usually close, and she told us , "Mondays and Tuesdays we usually close at 7." It was 7:40!!!!!!!!!! AAAH!!!!!!!!!! We felt like very terrible, insensitive people who should have tipped more...even though she assured us that she would have stayed this late anyways to clean up (which she had done all around us while we ate into her evening free time.)
But wait, there's more!!! Upon arriving back on campus, Amy and I dropped Kat off at Paul's townhouse, and went to the campus centre to check our e-mail. Of COURSE, Amy got an e-mail from Sam, and so it is no surprise that she was a little flustered/distracted on our way out to the car, and I was on the phone with Michelle, and as we opened our respective doors to get in the car, Amy says, "Wait! This isn't your car!" She was right. As we were walking up to it, I thought it looked a little too clean to be Tallulah, but I figured it just wasn't as noticeable at night time. But then Amy realized that her bag of clothes wasn't in the back seat, and the light bulb in her head came on much faster than mine did, at which point we collapsed in hysterical laughter in the parking lot. We DID find Tallulah. I had parked her over in the ATM parking slot, and the other car wasmuch more visible, right under the street light, the first car you lay eyes on after leaving the campus centre. Only in Houghton! Where everyone leaves their car unlocked...Otherwise, we would have had car alarms going off and suspected theft... :)
Last night, Amy, Katrina, and I went out to Ace's for dinner, where we talked and talked and talked until our food got cold (well, at least mine did...) and we realized that the whole restaurant was empty. Then I noticed that they were vacuuming the floors. And so we decided that maybe we should get up and pay our bill and be on our way - which we did, all the while still laughing and talking. As we were walking out the door, we asked our very obliging waitress what time they usually close, and she told us , "Mondays and Tuesdays we usually close at 7." It was 7:40!!!!!!!!!! AAAH!!!!!!!!!! We felt like very terrible, insensitive people who should have tipped more...even though she assured us that she would have stayed this late anyways to clean up (which she had done all around us while we ate into her evening free time.)
But wait, there's more!!! Upon arriving back on campus, Amy and I dropped Kat off at Paul's townhouse, and went to the campus centre to check our e-mail. Of COURSE, Amy got an e-mail from Sam, and so it is no surprise that she was a little flustered/distracted on our way out to the car, and I was on the phone with Michelle, and as we opened our respective doors to get in the car, Amy says, "Wait! This isn't your car!" She was right. As we were walking up to it, I thought it looked a little too clean to be Tallulah, but I figured it just wasn't as noticeable at night time. But then Amy realized that her bag of clothes wasn't in the back seat, and the light bulb in her head came on much faster than mine did, at which point we collapsed in hysterical laughter in the parking lot. We DID find Tallulah. I had parked her over in the ATM parking slot, and the other car wasmuch more visible, right under the street light, the first car you lay eyes on after leaving the campus centre. Only in Houghton! Where everyone leaves their car unlocked...Otherwise, we would have had car alarms going off and suspected theft... :)
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
WOOHOO!!!!!
My friend Karis, who went to school with me since 2nd grade, is getting a transplant today!!!!!!!! After a failed intestinal transplant over a year ago that put her into a coma for several months, and being in and out of the hospital for the past year, she finally got a phone call last night saying that they have new organs for her! I think this time she's getting new intestines, liver, and maybe even a pancreas. Amazing what technology can do these days...
For those of you who don't know her or haven't heard about her from me, Karis has been sick her whole life, but her testimony, and that of her family, is simply astounding. They have brought light and love to so many hospital wards, and to many people outside hospitals with whom they get a chance to interact. They have experienced the sustaining grace of God in sickness and health, in want and in plenty, and they will eagerly tell anyone who asks them about where their joy comes from in the midst of pain. Prayers are going up around the world right now, that the surgery would go well, and that the organs would take this time.
Monday, January 09, 2006
This weekend, I finished 3 of the books on my list - Yancey, Nouwen, and the Advent reader. Following the suggestion of my wonderful mother (who has greatly influenced my love of books...among other things...), I have picked up Brennan Manning's classic The Ragamuffin Gospel as one of my next ventures. I first read it during the summer of 2004, with my beloved Godspeed team, and I'm picking it back up again at a very different place in life. Like any book, its contents must be taken with a grain of salt, but seeing as I've also inherited from my mother a penchant for analyzing EVERYTHING I come across (often to the point of being ridiculous...), salt very rarely seems to be lacking in my literary diet! But in the midst of my frequent over-analysis, something very refreshing jumps out from the pages. Honesty. And grace. What Manning writes in his introduction, regarding his book, I think could be expanded to describe the Gospel itself.
[The Good News] is not for the super-spiritual. It is not for muscular Christians who have made John Wayne and not Jesus their hero. It is not for academicians who would imprison Jesus in the ivory tower of exegesis. It is not for noisy, feel-good folks who manipulate Christianity into a naked appeal to emotion. It is not for hooded mystics who want magic in their religion. It is not for Alleluia Christians who live only on the mountaintop and have never visited the valley of desolation. It is not for the fearless and tearless...It is not for legalists who would rather surrender control of their souls to rules than run the risk of living in union with Jesus.
[It is] for the bedraggled, beat-up, and burnt-out. It is for the sorely burdened who are still shifting the heavy suitcase from one hand to the other. It is for the wobbly and weak-kneed who know they don't have it all together and are too proud to accept the handout of amazing grace. It is for the inconsistent, unsteady disciples whose cheese is falling off their cracker. It is for poor, weak, sinful men and women with hereditary faults and limited talents. It is for earthen vessels who shuffle along on feet of clay. It is for the bent and the bruised who feel that their lives are a grave disappointment to God. It is for smart people who know they are stupid and honest disciples who know they are scalawags.
From one closet scalawag to another, my cheese has completely fallen off my cracker. I am in desperate need of grace.
[The Good News] is not for the super-spiritual. It is not for muscular Christians who have made John Wayne and not Jesus their hero. It is not for academicians who would imprison Jesus in the ivory tower of exegesis. It is not for noisy, feel-good folks who manipulate Christianity into a naked appeal to emotion. It is not for hooded mystics who want magic in their religion. It is not for Alleluia Christians who live only on the mountaintop and have never visited the valley of desolation. It is not for the fearless and tearless...It is not for legalists who would rather surrender control of their souls to rules than run the risk of living in union with Jesus.
[It is] for the bedraggled, beat-up, and burnt-out. It is for the sorely burdened who are still shifting the heavy suitcase from one hand to the other. It is for the wobbly and weak-kneed who know they don't have it all together and are too proud to accept the handout of amazing grace. It is for the inconsistent, unsteady disciples whose cheese is falling off their cracker. It is for poor, weak, sinful men and women with hereditary faults and limited talents. It is for earthen vessels who shuffle along on feet of clay. It is for the bent and the bruised who feel that their lives are a grave disappointment to God. It is for smart people who know they are stupid and honest disciples who know they are scalawags.
From one closet scalawag to another, my cheese has completely fallen off my cracker. I am in desperate need of grace.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
I'm an incurable bookworm...
Lately, I have been having a hard time putting my thoughts & feelings into words. Do you ever feel that way? They seem to float and flit about in my head and in my heart like vapors, not quite substantial enough to be grasped onto but still undeniably there - felt, smelled, tasted, and their nuances affect me. And for someone like me, who processes things best externally, through journalling and conversation and prayer, a lack of words is a real problem. So, in the inability to put my own words to these things, I have pored over pages and pages of other peoples' words, trying to find someone who could flesh out these jumbled wisps, making them somehow a bit more substantial and concrete. And it has been a blessed venture, indeed! To find, in books and blogs and Scripture and sermons and songs, words from others that capture the aching in my own bones, the near-bursting joy mingled with heart-breaking sorrow, the words that I couldn't find for myself. Some of these sources are as follows:
The Jesus I Never Knew, by Philip Yancey
Watch the Light: Readings for Advent and Christmas, by various authors
Christianity at the Religious Roundtable, by Timothy Tennent
Job
Psalms
Genesis
The Gospel of Luke
Acts
II Corinthians
In Her Words: Women's Writings in the History of Christian Thought, by Amy Oden
The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger
The Genesee Diaries, by Henri J.M. Nouwen
Yes, these are all simultaneous...The stack of books next to my bed is huge! I'm almost done with a few of them, though, so...do any of you have any suggestions? :)
(Thank goodness for libraries! That way, I don't have to spend a fortune to feed my habit...)
Lately, I have been having a hard time putting my thoughts & feelings into words. Do you ever feel that way? They seem to float and flit about in my head and in my heart like vapors, not quite substantial enough to be grasped onto but still undeniably there - felt, smelled, tasted, and their nuances affect me. And for someone like me, who processes things best externally, through journalling and conversation and prayer, a lack of words is a real problem. So, in the inability to put my own words to these things, I have pored over pages and pages of other peoples' words, trying to find someone who could flesh out these jumbled wisps, making them somehow a bit more substantial and concrete. And it has been a blessed venture, indeed! To find, in books and blogs and Scripture and sermons and songs, words from others that capture the aching in my own bones, the near-bursting joy mingled with heart-breaking sorrow, the words that I couldn't find for myself. Some of these sources are as follows:
The Jesus I Never Knew, by Philip Yancey
Watch the Light: Readings for Advent and Christmas, by various authors
Christianity at the Religious Roundtable, by Timothy Tennent
Job
Psalms
Genesis
The Gospel of Luke
Acts
II Corinthians
In Her Words: Women's Writings in the History of Christian Thought, by Amy Oden
The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger
The Genesee Diaries, by Henri J.M. Nouwen
Yes, these are all simultaneous...The stack of books next to my bed is huge! I'm almost done with a few of them, though, so...do any of you have any suggestions? :)
(Thank goodness for libraries! That way, I don't have to spend a fortune to feed my habit...)
Monday, January 02, 2006
I wish I had pictures...
Pictures of a lovely weekend in Washington, DC, with Mike, Tegan, and Mike's sister Kimmie! Of the living room floor strewn with books that we all have been reading, the massive jar of Nerds that has been getting emptier and emptier every day (hehehe...), the Russian teacakes that we baked last night, and of course Tegan curled up for a nap in the papasan chair. Or in bed. Or on the floor. Or pretty much anywhere. :) Pictures of the four of us crowded around a computer screen watching movies late at night, or wandering around the DC malls on New Year's Eve only to find that pretty much everything closed at 6 pm except the wine & liquor stores...interesting... Oh, and pictures of Tegan taking over the world!!! That's right, we brought in the New Year playing Risk, and although I had control of all of the Americas and almost half of Asia at one point, everyone ganged up on me and I was the first one eliminated...and then Tegan took over the world...Maybe someday I'll develop a sense of strategy! Until then, I will fly by the seat of my pants as usual.
"Any New Year's resolutions?" you may ask. And my answer is no. I have a life resolution: I want to learn. I want to learn how to change my own oil. I want to learn how to play the guitar. I want to learn how to listen better, instead of having my first reflex be to open my mouth and blurt something out. I want to learn about grace, about trust, about hope, about love, about what kind of justice God wants, about sacrifice, about how to pray without ceasing. I want to learn how to make bread without a recipe (I still need to peek sometimes...). I want to learn how to hold tightly, tenaciously, to the things that matter, and learn how to let go of the things that don't matter. I want to learn to wake up every morning and face life head on, with my eyes wide open. This is my life resolution. I want to be a perpetual learner.
In other news, KATRINA AND AMY GET BACK TODAY!!!!! Woohoo!!!! I can hardly wait. (And, Amy, Tegan graciously bestowed some ginger on me, so now we can make ginger tea!)
Pictures of a lovely weekend in Washington, DC, with Mike, Tegan, and Mike's sister Kimmie! Of the living room floor strewn with books that we all have been reading, the massive jar of Nerds that has been getting emptier and emptier every day (hehehe...), the Russian teacakes that we baked last night, and of course Tegan curled up for a nap in the papasan chair. Or in bed. Or on the floor. Or pretty much anywhere. :) Pictures of the four of us crowded around a computer screen watching movies late at night, or wandering around the DC malls on New Year's Eve only to find that pretty much everything closed at 6 pm except the wine & liquor stores...interesting... Oh, and pictures of Tegan taking over the world!!! That's right, we brought in the New Year playing Risk, and although I had control of all of the Americas and almost half of Asia at one point, everyone ganged up on me and I was the first one eliminated...and then Tegan took over the world...Maybe someday I'll develop a sense of strategy! Until then, I will fly by the seat of my pants as usual.
"Any New Year's resolutions?" you may ask. And my answer is no. I have a life resolution: I want to learn. I want to learn how to change my own oil. I want to learn how to play the guitar. I want to learn how to listen better, instead of having my first reflex be to open my mouth and blurt something out. I want to learn about grace, about trust, about hope, about love, about what kind of justice God wants, about sacrifice, about how to pray without ceasing. I want to learn how to make bread without a recipe (I still need to peek sometimes...). I want to learn how to hold tightly, tenaciously, to the things that matter, and learn how to let go of the things that don't matter. I want to learn to wake up every morning and face life head on, with my eyes wide open. This is my life resolution. I want to be a perpetual learner.
In other news, KATRINA AND AMY GET BACK TODAY!!!!! Woohoo!!!! I can hardly wait. (And, Amy, Tegan graciously bestowed some ginger on me, so now we can make ginger tea!)
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