Re-learning old habits

I have been reading an excellent book by Richard Foster, simply called Prayer, and it has been a somewhat humbling experience, to say the least. I have been realizing as I turn each page that I can say, "I used to do that", but have slowly lost the habit...I can't even pinpoint exactly when, but gradually, in small everyday decisions to do some things and not others, priorities and habits shifted imperceptibly until, before I knew it, they were all backwards. When did I stop praying the ordinary while I worked? When did I limit my prayers to petitions, asking continually for things, instead of having prayer express my love, gratitude, praise, and listen for God's voice? What a fool am I to think that I need only come to God on behalf of others, when the truth of the matter is that if I am not filled with Him, anything I do "on behalf of others" is completely useless, because it is coming from ME, not from HIM!

"If then you are wise, you will show yourself rather as a reservoir than as a canal. For a canal spreads abroad water as it receives it, but a reservoir waits until it is filled before overflowing, and thus communicates, without loss to itself, its superabundant water. In the Church at the present day, we have many canals, few reservoirs."

~Bernard of Clairvaux (qtd. in Richard Foster, Prayer)

Teach me again, Holy Trinity, how to live in constant communion with You, to come to You to be filled with Your perfect Love, lest I try to pour out what I do not have! For only Your Love satisfies, heals, restores, and brings joy. Fill my cup to overflowing once again.