Thursday, October 05, 2006

What can I give?

Do you ever feel like what you have to offer isn't what anyone else needs? Because sometimes I do. I struggle with feeling like what I have to offer to the world, the people I love, and even to God, is so small in comparison to what I would like to give. Well, back in college, the beautiful Tegan introduced me to Calvin Miller's poetic allegories of Scripture, and I recently acquired my own copy of A Requiem for Love, his retelling of creation. And I wept as these words, from a dialogue between the newly created Adam (here called Regis) and his Maker, spoke so beautifully to that struggle within me, the longing to have a good gift to give back to the One who has given us so much:
The new man listened, overcome by Presence.
To be given all the world at once,
Stopped his tongue
And left his wit too dead for words.
Overwhelmed, he broke the awesome quiet.
"Father, I receive Your gift of being, but
You have made me too rich
To name my wealth
And yet too poor
To give You anything of meaning.
I love with only giftless love."

"Regis, there is no such thing as 'giftless' love.
The very words accuse each other.
My gift to you is love, but
Worship is Your gift to Me.
And, Oh, most glorious it is!
Worship always calls Me 'Father' and
Makes us both rich with a common joy.
Worship Me, for only this great gift
Can set you free from the killing love of self,
And prick your fear with valiant courage
To fly in hope through moments of despair.
Worship will remind you
That no man knows completeness in himself.
Worship will teach you to speak your name,
When you've forgotten who you are.
Worship is duty and privilege,
Debt and grand inheritance at once.
Worship, therefore, at those midnights
When the stars hide.
Worship in the storms till love
Makes thunder whimper and grow quiet
And listen to your whispered hymns.
Worship and be free!"
I get goosebumps and chills and tears in my eyes just thinking about it...What a wondrous God we serve, and love, and worship, who has given us the very gifts that we have to offer Him, and yetstill delights both in receiving them and in giving them back to us! That we can worship only because Yahweh has given us the breath and the words with which we praise Him, and made possible the way by which we come, by His own grace, blood, and Holy Spirit, is truly a gift beyond measure...It is so mind-boggling that the Giver of all good things, in order to receive gifts from us, has actually made us givers of good gifts, as well! I love the lines, "there is no such things as giftless love./The very words accuse each other" - that it is in its very nature of the gift to pass through our hands, our mouths, our hearts, and return to Him, and without the giving and then receiving of those gifts, they would somehow cease be worship. I think what is truly miraculous is that the gift can become richer along the way, and "makes us both rich with a common joy!" What a "debt and grand inheritance at once..."

1 comment:

Hiram said...

wow. how beautiful a truth.